Muhammad's Tips on Writing Your Suicide Note

Your relatives, friends, police officers, and others, will read it. In some cases, suicide notes, or parts of them, even get to the media. One might think that a Muslim suicide note would be a more carefully crafted personal document, however in many cases, they are written carelessly and hastily.

Muhammad's tips are for people who want to leave a real impression.

Item: if you are not actually committing suicide because you want to die but are just looking to get attention, do not bother reading this. Your note will mean nothing once the doctors are done treating the scratches on your wrists or pumping the 2000mg of Advil out of your stomach. There are better ways of getting attention, try one of the services for people who are crying for help.

Tip #2
Don't try to say everything.
There are probably a lot of things you have on your mind, and you need to take some time and sort them out. Decide what is most important to say and leave out things that don't matter. Decide now what you want your readers to come away with after reading your note. Eliminate those things that distract from that point.

Tip #3
Handwrite your note if you can.
A handwritten note is a lot more personal. However, if you are worried your letter will not be understood, or you are physically not able to write it by hand don't worry about it. The important thing is that you get your message across.

Tip #4
Be natural.
Write the way you would speak. A good suicide note is personal, not formal. Don't get out the thesaurus and look for the biggest words you can find. Be yourself.

Tip #5
Avoid cliché's.
Filling your note with phrases like "Allah Arkba" and "Peace Be Upon Him" will make your note feel less like your thoughts and more like a form letter. Too many cliché's and it can look like you are just going through the motions or that you are leaving a note because you feel that you should, but without having anything to say. If you want to say something but it sounds too cliché, try to re-word it a little.

Tip #6
In general, use first person.
It creates a sense of intimacy and makes it easier for a reader to see things from your point of view, if you want to use a different point of view, be sure that you stick to it throughout your whole note.

Tip #7
Don't use your note like a will.
You might want your best friend to get your Qur'an but your suicide note is not the place to express that. If you want to leave certain things to certain people you should setup a will ahead of time. Just because you write it down does not make it legal, and it can be easily dismissed by the claim that you were not of sound mind when you wrote it.

Take the time to set up a Will, a Will helps keep you from giving away your stuff in the months/weeks/days before the suicide. That's one of the most obvious indications that you are thinking about killing yourself and can likely get you "saved", or at least make the process easier.

Tip #8
Be Honest.
Your note is one of the last things you give the world to judge you by. If you include things that others can disprove, it can discount the entire note. Besides, there is not much reason for lying at this point, is there?

Tip #9
Don't reveal your methods.
This is most important when you are allowing Allah to use you. Telling everyone what you are about to do will just make it easier for the infidels to give you the common since treatment you really  need. Alternately, you do not want someone to find the note that details which innocent targets you're blowing up before you get that chance. Once again the infidel might be able to help you. People will find out once the autopsy reports come in anyway.

Tip #10
Don't say anything you might regret.
There is always a chance that you will be found and "rescued". Suicide notes are not the place to rip into people, give away other's secrets, or confess crimes. The last thing you want is to end up in a hospital bed, facing the people who read something you would never have told them while alive.

Tip #11
Don't try to persuade the reader.
You do not want to spend your time trying to convince the reader that you are right. In most cases nothing you can say will change the way they feel. Your purpose is to express your point of view. It doesn't matter if the reader shares your point of view or not, only that they understand it.

Tip #12
Proofread your note.
Re-read your note at least twice. It's easy to make a simple mistake that distracts from the overall feel of the note. When reading over your note, there are a lot of things to look for. It's better to read it several times, looking for something different each time then to try to remember it all while reading it over once. Make sure the point you wanted to get across when you started writing is clear. Don't be afraid to make edits, but be sure to read your note over again when you do.

Tip #13
Make your note easy to find.
Take some time to consider where to leave your note. If you can't leave it near you, be sure to leave it in an obvious location. Even if you want someone in particular to read your note first, avoid sending it to someone by mail. There are too many things that could go wrong and once you send it, it's gone. Your note could get lost in the mail, or worse, it could reach someone before you can go though with your plan.

Tip #14
Check your note for flow.
Your note should progress rather then being a loose connection of thoughts and feelings. People reading your note should see that it is going somewhere. If you're having a hard time, start with a sentence or two that sums up the point of the letter, and then end with a summary of the same topic. Every paragraph in between should support that point.

Tip #15
Make sure it's not too long.
There is a reason it's called a suicide note and not a novel. Try to keep it around two or three pages at the most. Avoid the temptation to mention or leave a little note to everyone you know. Not only does that get dull fast but you're certain to leave someone out.

Now that the secret is out an increase in martyr arrivals from all walks of life is anticipated. Hurry up and claim your spot in hell.

Immediate Openings for Young dumb Muslim Movie Stars Express Muhammad's Tips on Screen too Delight the Heart of all Believers!

Asking Muslims to live in peace with others is asking them to betray their faith. Muslims are obliged to wage Jihad. This is their duty. As long as Muslims believe in Islam they will have to fight and promote it with violence any time they feel they have the upper hand and can win. They believe the Earth belongs to Allah (translation ~ Lucifer), and as his only faithful subjects, they are the rightful owners of it. It is their obligation to claim it and establish Allah (translation ~ Lucifer).

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